Split: A Memoir of Divorce

I've just finished an interesting new book by Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce. I haven't been divorced, but it spoke to me deeply, simply as a person who has endured the heartache of failed relationships. For anyone who was actually left to mother a young child alone by her narcissitic husband, the book would probably be even more transformative.

An excerpt:

Sometime during the seasons and the years and the arguments about money and sexual positions and diapers, it became punitive, the silence. It became a void; a place I could add to and see no difference, and I had seen that and I had blinked. I had blinked and that, I see now, was the beginning of my own undoing. Because I decided that what a good wife and a new mother would do would be to correct her own faults, and simply expand to fill the space.

At this point in time it shocks me, literally sends a raw jangling nerve through my body, how wrong a person can be, to call it “Fighting for love.” Call it “Keeping the Family Together.” I mentally issues myself a dunce cap, tall and pointy.

-- Split: A Memoir of Divorce
By Suzanne Finnamore

Numa Numa Nachman

You MUST check out this blog page, where my buddy, the Proto Reb Bolton, has assembled a collection of You Tube videos that trace the spread of an infectious Romanian dance tune around the globe.

PRB first heard it in Israel, to a spirited mantra sung about the great Rebbe Nachman of Bratslav, which he likes to burst into, with very little warning, during our chevruta study sessions in the library. What a delight.

He has recently learned that while the lyrics of the mantra are unique, the tune itself is actually part of something much bigger.

http://numanumanumanumanuma.blogspot.com/

What a small planet we live in!

A lesson on Perek Shira

The following worksheet can be copy/pasted into a Word file, and used to facilitate any kind of environmental- or animal-related Jewish lesson plan. I used it as a great introduction to my congregation's volunteer day at an animal sanctuary.

***

Perek Shirah, literally A Chapter of Song, is an ancient text of unknown authorship, probably dating to the medieval period. It contains verses that are “sung” by 85 components of creation, including the heavenly bodies, and the earth with its mountains, oceans, plants, insects, fish, birds and animals.

The concept behind Perek Shirah is that everything in the natural world teaches us a lesson in philosophy or ethics, and the verse gives a clue as to what that lesson is. The result is the “song” of the natural world, the tapestry of spiritual lessons for life that the natural world is telling us.

Interestingly, Perek Shirah does not mention the song of the human being.

While its origins are mysterious, many commentaries have been written about this text in the past 500 years, attempting to explain the connection between the verse and the creature it is attributed to.

What connections do you see from these excerpts?
What message do they carry for us today?

From the introduction of Perek Shirah:
Our sages of blessed memory said of David, King of Israel, peace be upon him: When he completed the Book of Psalms, he felt proud and he said before the Holy One, “Have you created any creature in Your world that recites songs and praises more than me?” At that moment, a single frog encountered him and said: “David, do not feel pride, for I recite songs and praises more than you. Furthermore, 3,000 parables can be derived from every song I recite.”

From the text:
The Gazelle is saying, “I shall sing of Your strength. I shall rejoice in Your kindness in the morning, for You were a refuge to me, a hiding place on the day of my oppression.”
(Psalm 59:17)

The Bear is saying: “Let the wilderness and its cities lift up their voice, the village that Kedar inhabits. Let the inhabitants of the rocks sing. Let them shout from the peaks of the mountains. Let them give glory to God, and tell of God’s praise in the islands.” (Isaiah 42:11-12)

The Beast of Burden is saying: “When you eat the fruit of your labors, happy are you and good is your lot.” (Psalms 128:2)

The Fox is saying: “Woe to him who builds his house without justice, and his chambers without lawfulness, that uses his friend’s service without wages, and does not give him for his hire.” (Jeremiah 22:13)

The Cat is saying: “If you rise up like a vulture, and place your nest among the stars, from there I shall bring you down, says God.” (Obadiah 1:4)

The Mouse is saying, “I shall exalt You, God, for You have impoverished me, and You have not let my enemies rejoice over me.” (Psalms 30:2)

The Fig Tree says, “The protector of a fig tree will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 28:18)

The Rooster says ... at the fifth call ... “How long will you recline, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep?” (Proverbs 6:9) At the sixth call, he says, “Do not love slumber lest you become impoverished. Open your eyes; you will be sated with food.” (Proverbs 20:13)

The Large Unkosher Animal says, “When you eat the labor of your hands, you are praiseworthy.” (Psalms 128:2)

Life updates

Hi everyone: Sorry my blog has been such a boring place to visit of late! Things have just been busy over here, and not in any particularly interesting way.

I'm nearing the end of the semester and am busy with school work; looking for freelance jobs, since my regular jobs all end at the end of May; and running around to prenatal visits and birthing classes and yoga sessions. I've managed to gain 35 pounds and still have two more months to go, so I'm kinda feeling like I've morphed into a tractor-trailer or something!

Unfortunately, Aaron lost his job a few weeks ago, so he is also combing the job marketplace right now. On the upside, we're having fun getting the house ready for the baby!

Meat and climate change

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, a panel of thousands of the world’s top climate scientists, has described the existence of human-caused global warming in its final assessment report as both “unequivocal,” and as having “abrupt and irreversible” effects on global climate.

A U.N. report from November found that a full 18 percent of global warming emissions come from raising chickens, turkeys, pigs, and other animals for food. That’s about 40 percent more than all the cars, trucks, airplanes, and all other forms of transport combined (13 percent). It’s also more than all the homes and offices in the world put together (8 percent).

Late Fragment by Raymond Carver

And did you get what
you wanted from this life even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.

Listen by W.S. Merwin

with the night falling we are saying thank you
we are stopping on the bridge to bow from the railings
we are running out of the glass rooms
with our mouths full of food to look at the sky
and say thank youwe are standing by the water looking out
in different directions

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you
in a culture up to its chin in shame
living in the stench it has chosen we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you
in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators
remembering wars and the police at the back door
and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you
in the banks that use us we are saying thank you
with the crooks in office with the rich and fashionable
unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you

with the animals dying around us
our lost feelings we are saying thank you
with the forests falling faster and faster then the minutes
of our lives we are saying thank you
with the words going out like cells of a brain
with the cities growing over us like the earth
we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
we are saying thank you and waving
dark though it is

Outsmarting Expedia

On my recent trip to Vegas and Denver, I unwittingly stumbled on a trick to get a really cheap flight. I'd like to spread the word! Here's how it worked:

I priced direct flights from Philadelphia to Vegas (stay two days); from Vegas to Denver (stay two days); then from Denver to Philadelphia. I tried it on several Internet search engines and found Expedia the easiest to work with when dealing with multiple destinations, because they have an option you click on where they find the "cheapest combination" of legs.

Yes, "cheapest" should be in parenthesis.

After about a week of combing around, I found a decent flight for $600. Not great, but not bad, especially considering all the stops. It was one of their cheapest combo options; the downside was, several of the flights were not my preferred travel times.

When I got to the last screen (after selecting one of the combos), a screen popped up that said: "Would you like change one of the legs of your flight?" And I thought, What the hell!? I'll check it out. Maybe picking a different flight time won't make a huge increase in the overall cost. ... So, I selected one of the legs to change, and was given every flight option on that particular route, and I then methodically went through and selected every single possible flight on that route, and saw how it changed the price of my flight.

Imagine my surprise when, buried among those 20-30 flight options, I found one particular flight time that lowered the cost of my overall ticket by over $100! Not what I was expecting!

Then I did this for all three legs of my trip, and ended up getting the exact same 3-way ticket, on the exact same days, for only $360! The flight times were the only difference -- and they were actually at better times for me!

It seems that Expedia's "lowest-possible option" is not the lowest possible option after all!

Then, just for kicks, I wrote down the three flight numbers in question and plugged in the identical itinterary on CheapTickets.com for the exact same travel days. The same flights purchased through their website were a full $100 more expensive than they were on Expedia.

I hope this helps someone out there! Fly On You Crazy Diamonds! And may you keep your money for yourself rather than forking it over to the major airline corporations!

Cool video on RRC

Interested in learning more about the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College? This two-minute video will give you at least a brief introduction!

Vegas baby!

Yippee! I'm on to Vegas to soak up some sun and celebrate the wonderful simcha of my buddy Rebecca's wedding. Rebecca and I have shared many tequila-soaked nights, commisserating about our dating woes over the years (not to mention trips to Mexico), so it's such a joy to see her happily paired away!

Here's to you Rebecca!